


You Suck

by funkypunkskeleton



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: vampire bite tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 11:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkypunkskeleton/pseuds/funkypunkskeleton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody likes a shitty tattoo. </p>
<p>(The story where Gerard flips his shit over a stupid vampire-bite tattoo he sees on some stranger, because those things are stupid af.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Suck

**Author's Note:**

> I'd written this awhile ago, and it's honestly not my best work, but it's something.  
> On the website I had this originally posted on, I'd had a note that said, "I looked up vampire bite tattoos, and just came to hate the whole concept. I ranted about it to my friends, and then this wonderful little short-story was born." So...yeah. Enjoy! :D

“What the hell...That’s not even...No, that’s not even possible! The marks are all wrong! Wrong, wrong, motherfucking _wrong_!” Gerard ranted childishly with many smartass-like huffs, while gesturing more than needed with his hands in irritation.

While looking through books with Frank, a woman had walked past them and Gerard caught something interesting on her neck. She had awfully-done, awkwardly-placed fang marks tattooed on her throat, and it made Gerard shudder.

It’s not that he disliked tattoos (he actually loved them, and were a major turn-on for him) or anything that involves a vampire, it’s just that Gerard hated stupid tattoos like the one he just saw; pointless and just plain stupid. He thought that if you were going to get tattoo, at least get one that means something to you, because you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life.

Honestly, if he wasn’t deathly, _deathly_ afraid of those pointy motherfuckers known as needles that were always - in his fucked up mind - threatening to stab his manhood and poke his eyes out, he’d be _covered_ in tattoos, all beautiful works of art and having a deep meaning to him.

That tattoo the lady had, however, was _not_ a beautiful work of art, and Gerard wanted Frank to see how awful the thing was.

“And the way the blood that’s supposed to be running out is positioned! When you’re lying down, the blood wouldn’t run the same way as it would be while you’re standing up, fucking dumbass,” Gerard muttered with a snarl-like curl of his lips, now in a pissy-ass mood. He scowled angrily over at the woman as he crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his shoulders forward, the messy strands of his black hair falling and creating a stringy curtain of greasiness.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Gerard, get over it,” Frank said, rolling his eyes and picking up a book from the shelf before him, flipping through the pages and skimming through the paragraphs without reading the description on the back. He turned it over and read the back, then let out a scoff and placed the book back on the shelf.  “And stop scowling at the woman. You look like a constipated, gothic creeper that needs a shower. Seriously, dude, your hair is gross.”

Gerard pouted his lips and dropped his arms, seeming to deflate, but only to start back up moments later, however this time with more of a sass-diva tone that really did get on Frank’s nerves after awhile. He even put one of his hands on his protruding right hip, while the other flipped around in the air as he rambled on about the stupid tattoo that really had nothing to do with him, except the fact that he hated everything about it. He wanted to rip the damn tattoo off the woman’s neck, then burn it and stomp on the ashes because it was _just that fucking awful._ But, he’d go to prison...or an asylum. He didn’t want that, so he kept his sweet ass by to Frank to resist the goddamned urge to run over to that woman. “I mean, why would you even fucking get that? Not only is it done horridly, but the way it’s positioned, too! The vampire wouldn’t be able to fucking bite into your throat like that!”

Frank merely rolled his eyes again, and continued to look through the selection of books, trying his best to ignore Gerard's bitching. Noticing that his friend was no longer listening and didn’t care, Gerard pressed his lips into a hard line and looked down at his worn Chucks, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans and a scowl pulled in his sharp features. He looked like a child that was being scolded for pulling a prank on the teacher, an angry expression on his face because, clearly, it was all the teacher’s fault. Frank let out this noise that sounded like an _tughs_ , using only his tongue, teeth, and the push of his throat for the air to slip out of his mouth and create the irritated noise.

“It looks stupid as fuck,” Gerard mumbled with a pout of his lower lip, glowering down at the cheap carpet of the store, scuffing his shoe against it.

“Yeah yeah, what else is new?” Frank replied.

“You suck,” Gerard retorted lamely, turning his head away from Frank and sticking his nose up in the air huffily, crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to look at Frank anymore since the bastard didn’t seem to realize how this little harmless tattoo was annoying the fuck out of the seven-year-old trapped in a twenty-seven-year-old man’s body.

“Not for free,” Frank stated, pausing momentarily to pick up another book. He looked over at Gerard, and smirked while then adding, “Well, maybe for you.”

Unbelievably flabbergasted, Gerard’s jaw fell slack, his mouth dropping open and his eyes widening. Despite the fact Frank was merely being playful, it still stunned Gerard whenever he’d say something flirtatious and/or perverted. He should be used to it by now, but what can you do? Old habits die hard. “Emphenight,” he responded, licking his bottom lip nervously.

Frank giggled, and then said, “Yeah, totally, Gee,” making Gerard’s cheeks flush, the blood that suddenly flooded to his face burning his skin.  

“You suck,” Gerard repeated, unable to find anything else to say. He stuck his nose back up in the air and walked away, swaying his feminine hips more than necessary, making Frank laugh.

“I told you, not for free!”


End file.
